On a dance lesson, leadership, & letting go
April 25, 2011 2 Comments
I believe in “karmic coincidences” and embracing lessons wherever they may be found. So it was at a ballroom dance lesson I happened to join because I was early for my own class. As I reflected upon it afterwards, there were many facets to appreciate.
I danced before and extensively enough in the past, so there is definitely muscle memory that remains. Also, through gender roles and opportunity I was always the “lead” in dance. Yet, here I was in a class with the instructor and only two other students, both of whom wanted to learn the lead role. In the brief consideration of the question “would I mind doing the ‘follower’ role, many thoughts came to mind even though instinctively and comfortably, I said no problem.
- I had danced before so I thought I should give someone learning the chance to practice
- I had lead before and the idea of experiencing the follower role felt like it would give me a better perspective
- I did wonder if I would be able to follow the lead vs do what I thought the lead wanted out of habit
And it didn’t bother me that my dance partner was of the same gender with a different orientation. At that moment and place, we had one common goal: to learn how to dance better while having fun.
The lesson went well. I went into a turn vs a spin the first time and realized it just caused both of us to be off sync instead of helping. Instead, next time the lead wasn’t as strong, we did another basic step. It was more naturally and my partner felt more confident and the fun increased. At the very end, I showed one variation that could be added as my contribution to the lesson.
At work or home, we often ‘hear’ who may know more doesn’t mean that person should be the driver. Yet, it often takes such simple experiences that embody the learning and show just going with the flow and achieving through letting go maybe the way to get the most. Any when you do that,
- even a 6’4″ person can be spun gracefully by someone much shorter
- a less seasoned resource’s passion and energy may carry you through the finish line
- those that might have resisted or uncertain may appreciate the partnership and look forward to achieving the task together
Cheers
dataminstrel 
“A less-seasoned resources’s passion” has a value all its own; love this. I also like what you say about letting go, which can be applied to so many moments in life.
Reminds me of a dance lesson I once had where the instructor said. “In the beginning, you’re dancing with yourself” (i.e. watching your own feet). Then you learn to dance with your partner (i.e. following each other’s cues). When you’re truly mastered it, you’re dancing with the whole room, harnessing the energy of the other dancers.
I see similarities with the maturity levels leading to management as well. Early in one’s career, you’re “in it for yourself”, building your own skills and expertise. As you begin to become wiser in your field, you’re able to broaden and focus on the team as a whole with mentoring and leadership. Eventually, you’re able to contribute to the broader company environment and your marketplace/field overall .